Raising A Parent: Recommendation #22 Create a Plan

Recommendation #22: Be prepared for the ‘ups’ and ‘downs’ and create a plan

Planning is of the utmost importance when preparing for the inevitable of end. Conversely, no matter how well planned or organized one’s expecting death is orchestrated, it should not be considered a “good death,” because no death is good. And I agree on this key point made by the author, we (surviving family members) cannot categorized death as “good” rather  it should be remembered as a well-organized or peaceful death. The same can also be said for a “bad death” or unplanned death, when things are chaotic and disorganized which many times result in a complicated grieving process. Not to go off tracks, the author’s meaning of “good death” is used in the context that no matter how prepared the family may be to handle the death of a loved one, death is never good.

With planning some of the disconcerting issues of death can be alleviated and the author provides a formula for assistance with planning at the end of life. First, it is crucial to be present during the decision making if you are not the primary decision maker or be available as the decision-maker. Second, be prepared to the ever changing moods of a loved one. Third, continual connect with other in the family is also a vital component in the planning process; this will help others cope and provide additional support to the decision-maker. Fourth, be prepared to answer questions from concerned individuals who may or may not be part of the extended family. Fifth, assess the situation and evaluate the true of the condition. Sixth, be prepared for criticism from others regarding your judgment calls. As the decision-maker not everyone will agree with some of your decision, but the loved one who elected you as the decision maker did so because of confidence and reliance on your decision making that would be in his/her best interest. Seventh, be compassionate towards others feelings and ways of grieving.

I would add another point to the formula, as the eighth point:  be prepared to educate others on mood changes the person may exhibit, as a result of impeding death. The reason why I point this out is because the author expressed how others were taken aback by his mother’s behavior and change in character, had the primary person who is accustom to the individual daily, I would suggest making others know of the changes in mood that are common with this process.  Overall, preparation lessens the impact of death and provides a lasting memory of a peaceful death. (Word count 416)

Author: Kerline Leonard